New Blog

Like I mentioned, I decided to transition my previous blog, The Courage of Conley Duke, to a new blog. It took some time before I was able to come up with a blog name that truly captured what I wanted this blog to be about. Life after child loss. The previous blog captured Conley's journey, and our journey as a family, navigating through the life of chronic illness. Not just one illness, but several. Kidney failure, cancer, clotting disorder, just to name a few. 

Why start a new blog? 

Well, let's face it. Blogging under the title of The Courage of Conley Duke felt wrong to me. That blog was started as a means to update others on his medical status and journey, in addition to my feelings and emotions surrounding the chaos. And that is no longer the story I am telling. I wanted a fresh start; somewhere I could go to feel more open and welcome to share thoughts about the process of losing a child; losing a piece of you; forever. I wanted his courage to stay separate from my feelings of loss, despair and heartache.

Why the name?

As you can see in the picture attached, I recently got a tattoo of Conley's name and footprint on my wrist. I am so enamored by the artwork because that footprint is his; down to every shadow and crease. I didn't want the foot filled in solid black. I wanted it to be like his; exactly like his. And it is. People ask me if this is Conley's baby footprint. No, it is not. Conley was too sick when he was born to do footprints. To do anything baby like for that matter, like nursing, baby photos, etc. From the moment he was born, it was all about saving his life, and no one stopped to think, or really care about actually, his footprint. But, during his final week of life when we had time to do whatever we wanted, we were offered the change to finally do his footprint. And of course, we did. So, this is the footprint from his final week of life. What makes this tattoo even more amazing, is that that ink was mixed with Conley's ashes, and then tattooed on my wrist. Yes, he will always be a part of me, and in my heart, but now he is forever engraved in my skin. This tattooed has already served way more than it's purpose. It has become tradition for Choice and I to kiss Conley's foot before we go to bed. We say goodnight to Conley, and kiss his foot on my wrist. It's perfect. So, the name of the blog. This blog is a product of Conley; of his death, and our loss of a child. And there are so many things that I could write about, and I did not want a name that would limit me to a certain topic, because I had no idea where this journey will take me. And therefore, the only thing 100% accurate about every post to come, is that it will be inspired by Conley; it will be inspired by his loss. The ink, or words on this blog, are a result of his ashes. Ink Through Ashes.